Before you read any further and get your Batman Underoos in any kind of bunch, I want to tell you two things. First, this post will probably contain spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet, and you want to see the movie, come back another day. Secondly, remember that everyone has an opinion of their own; it’s what makes us individuals. We are entitled to have our own opinions, and
I will respect yours only if you respect mine; but bear in mind that I am not the target audience for The Dark Knight Rises. I am an American woman, in her mid-forties with young children. I have never played an action video game, and the last comic book I bought was probably a Richie Rich or an Archie. I have never owned or thought about purchasing an action figure for myself…well at least not since the first Star Wars movie was released…the first time.
That being said, last night, after weeks of excited anticipation, my husband, Manfrengensen and I went to see The Dark Knight Rises. We greatly enjoyed the first two installments of this franchise, have been fans of Christopher Nolan, its director, since Memento, and even watched Batman Begins on Thursday night to heighten our sense of anticipation. I procured a babysitter for Friday night, opening night, and we made plans to have dinner and see the film.
On Friday morning, I woke up, made my coffee, and checked the computer. One of my friends on the Facebook mentioned something about prayers going out to Colorado, so I went straight over to the New York Times to see what she was talking about. And my heart just sank, right from the headline. I felt sick as I read the story. How do these things happen? We always ask that when these things happen, but the fact is, they happen all too often. (See a great article written about that by Roger Ebert here.) I don’t want to debate gun control in this country, I have been doing that since I was in high school. It goes nowhere. Ever. And that’s sad. Manfrengensen said the best thing I can think of about the Second Amendment. He said, okay, we have the right to bear arms, so you can have a musket, because that’s what the Framers had in mind. They never thought of assault rifles and the kinds of combat weapons we have turned into the monsters of today. Good point, I think.
But I digress; back to Batman. Of course, Colorado was on our minds as we entered the multiplex last night. We got there a half-hour early, and the theater was already 3/4 full. There were no open spaces left in the stadium seating, so we had to sit in the fourth row of the ones down on the floor. Manfrengensen pointed to the exit door, which is something he has never done at the movies before, and we talked about how that guy must have bought a ticket, gone in and propped the door open before going out and getting his weapons from the car.
The lights went down and the movie started, after about a dozen previews for others. And right out of the gate, I was cringing at the violence. Mind you, I don’t think that violence in movies is the cause of shootings like these. Lots of rational people see movies like this one and don’t go out and shoot people, so there’s definitely something wrong with the people who do, not the culture itself. But the film still made me feel…I don’t know…uncomfortable.
There’s a lot of shooting and automatic weaponry in the film. There’s also a lot of hand-to-hand combat, complete with extra-loud sound effects of bones crushing on every hit. I wonder…which bones are they implying are being crushed? Are they the bones in the hands of the puncher, or in the bodies of those being punched? Either way, the fight scenes are too long. How many times can one punch with a broken hand? I doubt it would be too many. Even for Bane.
The movie is dark. Darker than any of the others in the series. There’s corruption, cowardice, degradation, nuclear weaponry. The entire infrastructure of the city is destroyed. The one percent get pulled from their homes and thrown out into the streets. There are times when Bane is still unintelligible. And for a Batman movie, there’s nowhere near enough Batman in it. Not enough Batman, and too much Matthew Modine. Why did we need Matthew Modine exactly?
And don’t even get me started on Anne Hathaway’s skin-tight Cat Woman costume and the way they had her ride the Bat Cycle with her rounded can in the air.
Plus, can I tell you something else? Edna Mode has ruined Batman for me. The whole time he’s fighting Bane, punch after bone-crushing punch, I’m thinking, are you kidding me, Bane? Just grab that cape and pull! That would be the end of that.
But seriously, I’m not saying that The Dark Knight Rises is not worth seeing. Technologically. it’s brilliant. As far as the script goes though, it’s not as good as the other two. And I didn’t find Bane to be that great of a super-villain. He’s all mitts, mask, and diabolical philosophy, but he lacks the style and theatricality of The Joker, Spiderman’s Green Goblin, or even Lex Luthor. Bane’s less super villain, more semi-super villain.
I didn’t think any of the acting was anyone’s best, except for Michael Caine. But you know what? I don’t want to see an old man cry at the movies. There are only about three things I can think of that are sadder than an old man crying. Don’t you think? I don’t want to see an old man crying. Who wants to see an old man cry? But he was great. So great, that I was sorry there wasn’t more Alfred in the movie. I would seriously like to see Caine nominated for an Oscar.
Overall, it had the feel of a third and final installment for me. Way too much going on. Bruce Wayne gets laid, there’s more than one villain, just too many ideas that needed tying up before it was over. I haven’t hated a film this much in years, and to tell you the truth. I wanted to walk out and tell Manfrengensen to meet me later in the lobby. But again, I admit, I am not a member of the target demographic.
Now, would I have had any of these feelings if not for what happened in Colorado? I went to a dark movie, already feeling pretty dark. The thing is; yes, it’s just a movie. It’s entertainment and we are meant to enjoy it. But that’s really hard in a world that can sometimes be so angry and dark. When reality feels futile — I mean, what can you do about the crazy murderers of the world? There is no Batman who will come to our rescue. It is up to us to learn from events such as these, not just say, oh well, isolated incident, so don’t change anything. To not think about it until the next time it happens, when we all say, why didn’t we do something about this last time this happened? Maybe we could have prevented it happening this time? Is that even a possibility in today’s political climate? Wouldn’t it be great if it was? If we could make this the last time something like this happens? Then we can all go back to enjoying our entertainment.
1. Saving Private Ryan
3. Stalag 17
4. Full Metal Jacket
5. The Deer Hunter
6. Apocolypse Now
8. Empire of the Sun
11. The Hurt Locker
12. Black Hawk Down
13. A Midnight Clear
14. A Very Long Engagement
15. The Red Badge of Courage
AND The Mini-Series:
Band of Brothers (Big surprise, but it is an awesome series. I mean, I’m a girl, and I think it’s awesome.)
Here’s a great story that I heard about this week:
How cool is that??
I took the kids to see The Lorax yesterday. I really wish I had read the reviews before I had promised to do that. I was going to write a lengthy review, but A.O. Scott of the NYTimes said most of what I wanted to say, and I feel, said it more eloquently than I ever could have, so I’m sharing that with you.
I don’t mean to seem like I hate things, or that I am no fun, but I must tell you that as I sat in that darkened theater, I felt sad. Mostly sad for Dr. Seuss. I kept thinking that if he were alive, he’d go out in his yard, dig a grave and practice rolling over in it.
As Scott mentioned in his article, Theodore Geisel exercised tight control over his work, which his heirs have abandoned. That’s why we get these overblown adaptations that have little to do with the original story. These tales are perfect for the ten-minute-long animated shorts we got in the 1970′s. They don’t need all these added-on backstories that muck them up and make them run for 90 minutes.
Another thought that kept occurring to me was an article I’d just read about how folks today, for the most part, really aren’t that green. That everyone likes to use the buzzword “green” but in practice, we still keep consuming and discarding and leaving the saving of the planet to others who are too few to stem the tide. We need the latest smartphone, the latest TV, what all the other kids are wearing, and we feel better about ourselves when we throw our plastic bottles into a conveniently placed recycling bin, but overall, we can’t be bothered to carry our own reusable bags into the mall.
While the message of “save the trees” is still there, pretty much everything else Dr. Seuss stood for is not. Sure the little kids will walk away with that idea about saving the trees, but they will also come away feeling like they laughed a lot — at things that were kind of mean-spirited. Language is used to cut other characters down, and slapstick is what really gets the laugh. For some reason there’s also a fat bear that’s played for laughs as well.
Dr. Seuss was a genius, I’m not going to deny that. But his genius was his simplicity. The way he used his children’s books as allegories about racism, environmental issues and war is a great thing. But it’s not like he was the only one. I see a lot of Dr. Seuss’ words everywhere these days. They are plastered all over Pintrest, quoted on Facebook, painted on library walls. But you know, Theodore Geisel is no more the world’s greatest philosopher than Shel Silverstein is its poet. We are wise to use Dr. Seuss as a starting point to talk to our kids, but we need to back that up with more complex ideas — and follow through on those ideas ourselves.
Sunday was the Super Bowl, so we DVR’d this week’s episode of Downton Abbey. Yesterday, Manfrengensen sent me this text:Love you too. Can’t wait for downton abbey tonight! Maggie Smith is a luminary. I could watch her in a reading of wiki entries on bugs!
Gotta say, that man, he’s all romance, baby. Really knows how to smooth-talk (or in this case, smooth-text) his lady. Manfrengensen didn’t watch Season 1, but he has quickly caught on for Season 2.
And of course, Maggie Smith is The Bomb.
I have greatly enjoyed the series in general. Season 2 has been compelling, but I have to wonder if it’s going to go Desperate Housewives on us, like it’s really just an Edwardian soap opera rather than the high-brow drama we believe it to be. Not that it’s not still absolutely delicious, but a few aspects of this week’s installment have me concerned. (And if you have yet to watch, Spoiler Alert.) (Or, if you are reading this from the UK, please do not confirm or deny my suspicions.)
1) The Burned Soldier – long lost cousin/true love of Lady Edith shows up claiming to be the heir, but how can this be proved when Patrick Crawley is supposed to have died on the Titanic? Why hasn’t he come forward earlier? Amnesia. Amnesia? Of course, it’s a real thing, lord knows people suffer amnesia all the time, but you have to admit, it’s also quite the convenient plot device.
2) Mrs. Bates is Dead – Mr. Bates has a curious cut on his temple. Will suspicion be cast upon him? Do I see a trial in his future to prove what has surely got to be the inevitable innocence of so empathetic (though still a little shady) a character? Perhaps, but I hope not.
3) Matthew is in a wheelchair – So noble, he won’t allow any woman near him out of his duty to their inevitable futures as breeders and loving spouses. He feels he has nothing to offer them without his body. Both Mary and Livinia love him desperately, but he’s dead inside…but wait…did he just feel something below the waist? We’ll just have to wait and see.
No matter, like many fans, I can’t wait for next week’s installment and am sure to suffer withdrawl when the season ends February 19th.
Todays’s 1-Page offering in The New York Times Magazine features a “That Should Be A Word” entry by Lizzie Skurnick that totally applies to me.
1. To let someone else figure out how to split the check, as in “Sally loved to tabdicate after group meals; she hated long division.”
There seems to be a lot of zombies out there this season. For some reason, zombies are in. There’s The Walking Dead, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, video games with zombies, and about a million movies about zombies. All the kids I’m talking to on the bus stop, they’re planning to be zombies for Halloween.
I hate zombies. I pretty much feel the same way about zombies as I do about roller coasters. Call me crazy, but when it comes to roller coasters…well, they’re not my thing. I don’t know if I will live to be 110 years old, but even if I do, that puts death close enough for comfort. I don’t need to artificially enhance the feeling of imminent death. As far away as death might be at any moment, that’s close enough for me.
And that’s how I feel about zombies. I encounter enough people on a regular basis, working, driving, talking about Celebrity Apprentice, that I don’t need any fictional zombies.
What’s with Nickelodeon’s new line of fairies, Winx? These fairies are even trashier looking than the Disney Tinkerbell ones! Their French-maid length skirts barely cover their high, tight hineys, and they’re wearing knee socks over their knees. Unlike the Tinkerbell fairies of the garden variety, these are like trampy hooker fairies. I would not be at all surprised if it were revealed that one of these fairies had made a sex tape. They make the cartoons of my youth seem so tame in comparison. I mean, Winx make Josie of Josie and the Pussycats look like Meryl Streep in Doubt.
And of course, The Princess knows all about this new show and has been anxiously awaiting its debut. I need that noise like I need another kid.
I’ll tell you what — the way this summer’s been going, I’m about this close to becoming a screen-free household. But then, where would we be really? The 19th century? What good will that do them?
And sure, I can turn off this show, and forbid it in the household. I can tell her no when she sees the merchandise and wants it. But, I’m just so tired of the fight. We say we want to raise our girls to be strong and independent like boys, but then these are the images they get from the media? (This and Dora, taking them to ice cream fountains and candy mountains, feeding chocolate chip cookies to bugs, etc. Hey girls, would you rather be anorexic or diabetic? It’s one or the other!) There’s just no way around it, not in the twenty-first century.
Seriously though, I cannot tell you how many times my five-year-old daughter has asked me if she “looks fat” in this or that article of clothing. She has already begun to compare her body to others, and that is so unfair for her. Can we at least not make them care about body image until their teens?
Why trampy fairies, though? Why?
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