An Imagined Conversation Between Me and My Dog, if Dogs Could Talk (Which They Cannot)Posted: February 14, 2015
Her: Let’s play. I wanna play. See?
Me: Okay, but where’s the squirrel?
Her: I don’t want the squirrel. I want to play with the bully stick I have in my mouth.
Me: Yeah, but that’s like 3 inches long, and all slobbery. I can’t do anything with that.
Her: Yeah, but I want to play.
Me: Okay, here’s the squirrel. Drop the stick.
Me: Don’t you want to play?
Me: Want to play with the squirrel?
Her: No, just you and the stick.
Me: What if I hit you in the face with the squirrel like this:
Her: That does nothing for me. Did you see this stick?
Me: I’ve got stuff to do.
Her: Me too. I’m going to lie down here with the stick. Did you see this stick?
Me: I need coffee.