Oh, Good Lord…..

According to MSN, “The New York Daily News’ Lloyd Grove reports today in his “Lowdown” column that Britney Spears just learned she is carrying twins — and that she’s already begun reigning in the spending habits of her husband Kevin Federline to prepare for the added expense.”

Like it wasn’t scary enough that Britney and Kevin were expecting a single offspring. Good thing they sprung for that double-wide trailer.

Yet another reason to avoid Fox News

This just in from the website “Media Matters”….

During Fox News’ coverage of the July 7 London bombings, Washington managing editor Brit Hume told host Shepard Smith that his “first thought,” when he “heard there had been this attack” and saw the low futures market, was “Hmmm, time to buy.” Smith had asked Hume to comment on the lack of a negative U.S. stock market reaction to the London attacks.

You know, I tend to think of myself as a cynical person. Then I read crap like this and think, “I’m not cynical…I’m right.”

(from “The Odd Couple”)

OSCAR: I can’t take it anymore, Felix. I’m cracking up. Everything you do irritates me, and when your not here, the things I know you’re gonna do when you come in irritate me. You leave little notes on my pillow. I told you a hundred and fifty-eight times, I can’t stand little notes on my pillow. “We’re out of cornflakes, F.U.” It took me three hours to figure out “F.U.” was “Felix Ungar”!

Feeling a little better…

though I can’t for the life of me remember who I went to LiveAid with….

The little one is sick today. He’s got a little fever, and he actually came up to me, put his arms in the air and said, “Night night.” Cutey.

Crime Spree

I’ve got jewelry missing. A couple of weeks ago, I opened the ring box that I keep in my top dresser drawer to find that my engagement and wedding rings weren’t there. I hadn’t worn them for a while because of the pregnancy, but I couldn’t find them in any of the places I would normally put them had I taken them off anywhere but in my room. However, I didn’t want to panic, afterall, I’m pregnant, I could have misplaced them. Sure, I’m normally so neurotic about losing things that I have a very short list of places where I leave precious items, but given the choices, I usually feel that things are my fault.

I’ve had a woman coming to clean the house periodically for the last few months, as my pregnancy has progressed, and when I asked her if she’d seen the rings, she said no. At the time, it didn’t strike me as odd, but now when I think about it, she didn’t ask me any other questions, such as “what did the rings look like?” or “where do you usually keep them?” She just denied having seen them, and added that she would “look around” the next time she came to clean. So yesterday as she was leaving, she asked whether I had found them, and when I told her I hadn’t, she casually mentioned that her engagement ring was in a pawn shop.

It’s not that I suspected her, really, but I couldn’t come up with any other explanation. I kept looking everywhere for the rings, but they never turned up. Plus, in the back of my mind there was this one incident…after the second or third time she came here, I happened to open my night table drawer, and noticed that the two Tylenol with codeine that I had left in a prescription bottle were missing. I get migraines, and that’s what the dr. gave me to take during pregnancy should I get one. I was pretty sure that I had left two in the bottle, but pregnancy makes you doubt yourself. Maybe I had taken them, or moved them to some other place. But if I had done that, why wouldn’t I have thrown away the bottle since there was no refill on the prescription?

Later in the afternoon, I went to look at my jewelry, thinking again, maybe it’s me…maybe, even though I’ve looked through that drawer half a dozen times, maybe I missed them. I didn’t find them, but I did find that the earrings my husband gave me as a wedding present were gone too. They were pearl and diamond and I haven’t worn them since May when we went to out to a swanky place for dinner. Plus, I know they were there when I took inventory after losing my rings!

So, I called the police, and while they were sending somebody, I took another, broader inventory. Also missing are a little ring that my father gave to my mother when they were dating. I had kept it in another drawer in a box of old memories and other bits of junk. It had four little diamonds and a blue (possibly opal?) stone in the center. It was left to me when my mother died, and I was ten. Also missing, my father’s original gold wedding band, from his marriage to my mother. FUCK!

The police officer was very nice. She seems pretty sure that the items were pilfered by the cleaning lady, and is in the process of tracking her down. She came back today to show me some mugshots, but none of them matched the face. It turns out that the cleaning lady might have given me (and the person who recommended her)an alias. I am so sad right now.

I realize there are bigger things going on in the world today, and that I am lucky to have all the wonderful things I have, the things that really are not replaceable, but I am still bummed. I feel stupid and violated.

Rainy Day

All kids plus no adults makes Kate a little kooky.

Everyone I know is busy, away, or working today, so I have had no adult conversations. YEEEEEEE!

Liked the new Batman movie a lot.
Saw Will Smith’s “Hitch” last night. It was another Bo Catlett.

(From “Jaws”)
BRODY: “Slow ahead.” I can go slow ahead. Why don’t you come on down here and chum some of this shit.


Okay, here are just A FEW of the leads from news stories troubling me today. I think I am going to have to take a break from the news for a bit:

1) Refusing to give up on the Terri Schiavo case, Gov. Jeb Bush has asked Pinellas prosecutors to sort out time discrepancies Michael Schiavo has provided regarding the hour he found his wife unconscious 15 years ago. (St. Petersberg Times)

2) American officials lied to British ministers over the use of “internationally reviled” napalm-type firebombs in Iraq. (The Independent)

3) A Halliburton Co. unit will build a new $30 million detention facility and security fence at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, where the United States is holding about 520 foreign terrorism suspects, the Defense Department announced on Thursday. The announcement comes the same week that Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld defended the jail after U.S. lawmakers said it had created an image problem for the United States. (Reuters)

4) The House was poised to give the Pentagon an additional $45 billion for wars next year, even as public support for combat in Iraq wanes and lawmakers press for an exit strategy.
While President Bush has not asked yet for more war funds, lawmakers included money for military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan in a spending bill the House was expected to approve late Thursday. (Associated Press)

5) Hi, I’m Bill O’Reilly. Thank you for watching us tonight. The latest dispatches from the Natalee Holloway case in Aruba in a moment. But first, what do The New York Times and the mafia have in common? That is the subject of this evening’s “Talking Points Memo”. The answer to that question is both The Times and organized crime routinely engage assassins. In the case of the newspaper, they are propping up character assassins. (Fox News, video available on LiarsandCrooks.com)

6) In June 2000, a group of top government scientists and health officials gathered for a meeting at the isolated Simpsonwood conference center in Norcross, Ga. Convened by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the meeting was held at this Methodist retreat center, nestled in wooded farmland next to the Chattahoochee River, to ensure complete secrecy. The agency had issued no public announcement of the session — only private invitations to 52 attendees. There were high-level officials from the CDC and the Food and Drug Administration, the top vaccine specialist from the World Health Organization in Geneva, and representatives of every major vaccine manufacturer, including GlaxoSmithKline, Merck, Wyeth and Aventis Pasteur. All of the scientific data under discussion, CDC officials repeatedly reminded the participants, was strictly “embargoed.” There would be no making photocopies of documents, no taking papers with them when they left. (Salon.com)

Okay, I need a nap…

oh — one more —

Actor Tom Cruise said he and girlfriend Katie Holmes are engaged, after he popped the question early Friday morning atop the Eiffel Tower. (AP)

by the way…

(From “Raiders of the Lost Ark”)
MARION: Not the man I knew ten years ago.
INDY: It’s not the years, honey. It’s the mileage.

Here’s more crap

about Halliburton getting a fresh $30M contract from the government to build a new prison at Gitmo. I’d tell you what I think, but I’ve read too much news today, sitting at the lab waiting for my glucose test to take effect, I’m too sad now…


Daily Show

Here’s a link to the Daily Show’s take on the Michael Jackson trial.



You okay, baby?

Okay, first of all, let me just say that it wasn’t my idea to see “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” last weekend. We went out with my brother, who tends to shy away from any movies that might be sentimental, so given a choice between the Smiths or “Cinderella Man”, he went for the big guns.

And big guns he got. I have to say, for a movie with so much action, it was the most banal piece of celluloid I have ever seen. Now, I am capable of going to the movies and suspending my sense of reality, but this movie was so far-fetched that it was impossible to do so. It seemed like the director just wanted to use a whole bunch of cool gadgets, big guns and explosions, and it didn’t matter to anyone involved with the production how everything fit together. The movie had the feel of being written by fifteen different people, though only one writer was credited.

I don’t know where to start with the implausible concepts of this film. I’m just going to put aside the idea that these two people could be married for five (or six – stupid running joke in the movie) years without knowing that his or her spouse keeps an arsenal of weapons stashed in the house. Who knew it was so easy? I’ll tell you one thing – this movie gave me some good ideas about where to hide the Christmas gifts next year.

So, let’s start with the concept of hired assassins. Granted, most of my ideas about lone gunmen come from “Grosse Pointe Blank”, but aren’t these people supposed to be discreet by nature? I mean, it really wouldn’t do to draw attention to oneself in a situation where assassination is involved. So, when a bunch of assassins come after the main characters in a car chase, one would think they’d be driving something other than three matching navy blue BMWs with big white racing stripes emblazoned over their hoods, right? I mean, if you want to surprise your mark, it’s best not to call attention to yourself or your cohorts. Maybe it’s just me…

Then, there was the much lauded fight scene between the spouses. There’s a part of it where Mr. rips out part of the stove and ignites the gas, blowing Mrs. out of the kitchen in a huge fireball. Her hair is waving all about, and yet, she is singed not at all. Then the fight continues, progresses, they make up, get it on (without overlooking the obligatory S&M implications, of course), and the next thing you know, they are sharing a snack in the kitchen. Never mind that the kitchen floor is covered in broken glass and Mrs. is just walking around in her bare feet. I could believe that….but the kitchen was ON FIRE. A natural gas fire does not just blow out.

And also, in that same fight – the two of them are shooting these huge guns at each other. Mrs. is blowing holes in the walls and all. Then when the police show up, they’re just like, “hey, you guys okay?” Yes, we are officers, Brad and Angelina coyly say through the door, each of them still basking in the glow of their renewed love. And the cops just say, okay then, and leave! Are you telling me that gunshots in upper-class suburbia wouldn’t warrant more of a response from local law enforcement?

Then in the end, as they are being chased by the assassins as I mentioned before, they end up in some suburban warehouse store shooting it out with 50 or 60 of their murderous peers. And for some reason, Brad and Angelina are the only ones a) who are wearing bullet-proof vests and b) capable of hitting the side of a barn with their shots. Meanwhile, they’ve broken into this store, and no police show up, no alarm goes off, no one hears the thousands of rounds of ammunition being expended.

But I guess I’m just supposed to let the “art” flow over me. Don’t ask too many questions. What gets me too is how some of the reviews have assumed this movie has something interesting to say about marriage. That, in itself, is amusing. This movie is like a telemarketer. If it has anyting to say, no matter how loudly it’s speaking, I don’t want to hear it.

Ugh. Should have been called Mr. and Mrs. Stinks. And another thing – so much hype with this movie. Were they an item then? Are they an item now? Who cares? But this is what gets me – Brad last week appears in an interview with Diane Sawyer (and you know how I feel about her), and he’s saying how he wants to draw attention to the starving children of Africa….in the week before his movie is released….and he’s claiming that since he gets so much press and the starving hordes of Africa get so little, he wants to use this opportunity to even the score. BULLSHIT. Look, I am totally sympathetic to what’s going on in Africa. I don’t know what the answer is over there, but believe me, until you look at the last two centuries of the continent’s history, you’re not getting anywhere. But this guy – makes a big-budget waste of film every year, takes home twenty mil, makes a movie like this one – with all these weapons being glorified as cool, and he wants to sell me the idea that he’s a concerned citizen of the planet? Get off that, Brad.

And that, my friends, is what I think of Mr. and Mrs. Smith

(From “True Romance”)
FLOYD: Hey, bring back some beer….and some cleaning products.