The hits keep on coming….

Having a crappy week….

Monday, I found out that my health insurance doesn’t cover maternity. WHAT??? you say — yes. It’s true. We had been relying on a chart on the internet listing my benefits which said that 80% of maternity costs were covered, but we hadn’t noticed a tiny asterisk at the bottom of the screen that said “additional premium required”. So it would have cost an extra $200 a month to be covered. I asked the phone rep if I could get covered now, and she said that I would have had to pay the extra premium for TWO YEARS before I would have been eligible. Two years??? That I don’t get. I could see if it were one year, then you could say that the pregnancy wasn’t a pre-existing condition, but two? What is this? Health insurance for elephants?

So, needless to say, my man and I were in quite a state on Monday. We were talking about haggling with the doctors and the hospital, getting a refi- on the house, and generally stressing out. I kept thinking about all the tests I’d need done – I’m over 40; there’s the nearly-obligatory amniocentesis, and the dr. has been talking about sending me for non-stress tests twice a week after thirty weeks. Not that I would have cut corners on the child’s health, but for every test, I’d be lying on the table thinking, “cha-ching, cha-ching….” My stomach was in such a state, I think I lost two pounds. I spent a restless night in bed, with each return to consciousness (and there were quite a few of those) I felt as though I had spent an hour at a bargaining table.

In the shower on Tuesday morning, my husband had an moment of clarity. We’d been looking into dental insurance through his job. The insurers had sent him all kinds of info on insurance, and he recalled that for health insurance, February is open-enrollment month, and the insurers were accepting pre-existing conditions. So he called to ask if pregnancy was covered — and it is. So we are switching insurance. Needless to say, we have dodged quite a cannonball there….

Then there was Tuesday….

I met a friend for lunch with our kids. She has two as well, and they are about the same ages as mine. So after lunch we went to this indoor playground. I don’t know if you have one near you, but you pay a fee, and they have all kinds of things the kids can play on; they can climb up into the rafters almost, go down slides, etc. They can play play video games, skeeball, etc. I think it’s kind of like Chuck E. Cheese again, but think — hold the cheese. They put a wristband on the kids and they are free to roam the place.

So, we go in there, and my two-year-old follows his older brother up to the big slide, where he gets stuck and can’t come down. So I went and got him, coming down the slide with him. Well, I don’t know if it’s just that I haven’t been on a slide in a while, but this thing was greased!! I must have been going 50 mph. I showed the little one the ball pit, and he went nuts. He would have stayed in there all day. But, he was trying to do what other kids were doing, burying himself fully in the balls. There were some older kids who were getting kind of rough in there, diving in and throwing balls and stuff. All of a sudden, the two-year-old is crying. And let me tell you, this kid’s not a crier. When he gets hurt, he never cries for more than a few seconds. But I couldn’t get him to stop. I was holding him and I realized that his right arm was completely limp. I tried to get him to move it, but he wouldn’t. I sent my friend to ask if the place had a nurse. Not only didn’t they have a nurse, but they didn’t have any kind of procedure for documenting injuries at all. Doesn’t that seem like a huge insurance liability?

Anyway, they did offer us a bag of ice, and after I took of his wristband, the use of my child’s arm miraculously returned to him. It was a bit of a scare, but he pulled through. I took him back to the ball pit, which he was attracted to in a very magnetic way, and when I looked across the room, I saw my other son in the arms of a young playground employee. She was carrying him near the ice machine, and he was crying his eyes out. I went to investigate, and she said that he had come quickly down the big slide and landed on his arm. So we put ice on it, and that was enough for me. I told my friend we were ready to go.

But, by this time, the little one in the ball pit wanted to stay, so I took him, kicking and screaming, to where we had our shoes, and fought him running off the whole time. I finally got both their shoes, my shoes and our coats on, and we started for the door. I ran into my friend again, whom I had assumed had been gathering her own children for departure. She was in tears now. I asked her what was going on, and she said her five-year-old had climbed into the rafters and was refusing to come down. I reminded her to use the ultimatum tactic, and we all headed for home.

Next time, I think we’ll all just get together with pointy sticks. It will be less expensive and just as much fun.

Then last night we got a call from my in-laws. My sister-in-law is having some complications with her own pregnancy, and we are waiting to hear today whether the baby is okay. I’m sure he will be, but in the mean time, it’s scary. You just want things to go safe and smoothly, you know? She’s a trooper though. It will be alright.

(Young Frankenstein)

Eigor: Could be worse…could be raining.
(Thunder claps….)

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