How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

Just got back from a stress-relieving trip to Florida. The hotel was beautiful, and because there was a lawyers convention there, we got a free upgrade to the club level, so there were snacks and drinks available all day, plus, they served continental breakfast and afternoon tea! They gave us a room on the top floor, overlooking the ocean. We spent most of the time on the beach or by the pool, and I got a great “pregnancy massage” at the spa.

We had some funny things happen too. Sunday night we were out at a restaurant, and I went to the ladies room. But when I opened the door, there was a man standing there, arranging napkins, as the restaurant was using extra space in the room for storage. I said, “Am I in the right place?” And he said, “Yeah,” at which point I realized “he” was a woman. A very large manly woman….oops.

Went to see the Orlando Bloom vehicle, “Kingdom of Heaven.” My review: Three hours of hell. I don’t think I need to see anymore bone-crunching battle-axe decapitation dipictions of primative war. I’ve seen enough, I get the picture. Plus the “love” story was so stupid and just plopped in there so the ladies wouldn’t feel left out. I hated Gladiator, and this was just as bad. I needed an Orlando Broom….

The kids had a great time with their grandparents, who took them to an amusement park and to play miniature golf. One morning, I called to say hi (I missed them), and I asked the four-year-old what he was doing. His answer: eating M&M cookies. It was NINE O’CLOCK in the morning!!!!! Needless to say, Gram’s a little more loose with the nutritional content of breakfast than I am.

Good to be back, though Florida now seems a million miles away.

(from Plains Trains and Automobiles)

Neal: Del, why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: Where’s your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows.
Neal: Those aren’t pillows!!!

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