Do You Smell That?
Posted: February 2, 2009 Filed under: family 1 CommentIt’s my muffin burning.
Edison and Clooney go to a school that is only co-ed through the third grade. When I went there, the ratio of boys to girls was about even, but I guess over the years it’s developed a reputation for being more of a girls’ school and the number of boys has dwindled. This year, the two sections of third grade have eight boys total, with four in each classroom.
Last year, there were no boys in the third grade at all, and the administration freaked out. What can we do to keep boys? What can we do to attract boys? They had this big parents meeting where all these ideas were aired and floated, but this year, there really hasn’t been much talk of the problem.
Edison has been there for the last five-plus years, and until this one, I really didn’t feel many gender differences in terms of the teaching. But this year is different. He had to read Sarah Plain and Tall, which was a chore for him. In fact, this child who does love to read when the material means something to him, has begun to lament that he’s “not good at reading.” And that’s not good at all.
I’ve also noticed that the assignments this year have a definitely feminine slant. The word problems are often about girls. They did another reading packet several weeks ago that involved sewing and making a quilt. Today he was doing corrections on a test about African culture that focused on a girl who made a certain kind of special cloth. How is that meaningful or engaging to an eight-year-old boy? And Edison’s not the most rough-and-tumble kind of guy either. He’s the kind of guy who will always have soft hands, which isn’t a bad thing, I’m just saying he’s more cerebral than physical.
So then, I’ve kind of noticed in the last year or two that the party invitations have dried up. Not a big deal. He definitely goes to plenty of them, but not as many as he did in kindergarten or first grade. The other day, he mentioned that one of the girls was having a Valentine’s Day party. I asked if he had been invited, but he said no, that none of the boys were invited because as the girl’s mother put it, “They would be too wild.”
Way to teach the boys how to act in social situations, lady! Besides, there are only four boys in the classroom, and I happen to know that they are all nice kids. There aren’t any problems in the classroom. It’s not like the teacher’s got eleven girls and four monkeys.
Though this is the same woman who didn’t contribute to aid a needy family at Christmas that the class had taken on. The family had five kids, the youngest of whom had cerebral palsy. The parents had been out of work for several weeks. It was a sad story. But this girl’s mom told her daughter (who then told my son) that it was pointless to give them money because “the parents are just going to spend it on cigarettes.” Nice. Charitable. Really Christian. (Not that I am into that, but hey, it is a Catholic school whose motto is “to serve.”)
But maybe I am wrong. Maybe separating girls from boys for parties a reasonable thing. Edison doesn’t care that he wasn’t invited to the party, and frankly neither do I. But I just think that it’s a little young to start excluding members of the group. Plus if we are so worried about keeping and attracting boys to this school, excluding them from activities certainly doesn’t help.
Unmentionables
Posted: February 1, 2009 Filed under: Day-to-Day, Dieting, family | Tags: underwear, Victoria's Secret 1 CommentSo, with all the weight I have lost, I needed some new underthings. But I had no idea what size bra I am any more, so I needed to get fitted. For Christmas, someone gave me a gift card to Victoria’s Secret, so I made time to go there.
But you know, it’s their busy season. They had two girls working, and like fifteen people in line waiting to pay (made me think recession shmacession, but then sex always sells, right?) so I kind of tried blindly to find a bra that would fit to no avail. I had been a 4_ D+, so I was trying
Yeah, I could pull this off. It would just be hard to get the wings through the door of my bedroom.
3_ C’s and 3_ C’s, and in every case, the cups would runneth over.
What I really needed was some help. Ideally, this help would come from someone who knew what she was doing though, some woman on the west end of middle age who was wearing both a tape measure and a pair of glasses around her neck. I don’t know what Victoria’s Secret is like in your neck of the woods, but the one at my sad little mall (the one that’s one bad holiday season away from having a wig store?) is sparsely populated with college-age girls who look as though they may have barely passed their G.E.D. for all their looking at their own reflections in any window or surface that might do the reflecting.
Besides, I have this theory about Victoria’s Secret: They’re not all that. They are fast food for underwear, like the McDonald’s of Underwear (Manfrengen says, “So, they’re like McBra-nalds?”) but no one says they’re the McDonald’s of Underwear because what they see is Stephanie Seymour, Heidi Klum or Naomi Campbell in a lacy bra and panties and people (specifically men and the women who aspire to be such fantasies) are just like “ooh, SPEC-TAC-ULAR!” but really it’s just eye candy…junk food.
Seriously. I blame Victoria’s Secret for the unnecessary pervasiveness of the thong, which let’s face it, is a kindness to call at the very least misogynistic. All you have to do is add Victoria’s Secret to the mindlessness (that masquerades as female empowerment) that is Sex and the City, and what you will get is a lot of sheep who believe they need sheering in a Brazilian style.
So I left Victoria’s Secret in search of that lady with the tape measure and her glasses on a chain. I went to this store in a little shopping center that my stepmom had recommended, and sure enough, the ladies there were at the ready with the tape measures.
Expressing It.
So, I got measured, and I actually learned something new: that while your measurement goes down, your cup size actually goes up. So even though I have gone from 4_ to 3_, I’m still in the D territory. The woman got me all fitted with a nice comfortable every-day bra, and then I said, you know, how ’bout something with a little more va-voom? Something that could lift me to the heights I was in the 1980’s? Sure enough, she pulled out this sexy number with black tulle and a little tuxedo thing going on between the underwire. It had a little row of roses going up the middle. (Just an aside: who designs underwear? How about that for a career?) Any way, yes, it fit nicely. Not only did I look like something out of the 1980’s, I looked and felt like Madonna circa 1987.
It was very nice indeed, so I told the woman I would take it. Then she asked if I would like to see the matching panties, and I thought what the hell? I’ll go for broke. Let me tell you: I have always been a strictly Jockey girl. I have never owned a matching set of bra and panties. It’s just never been important to me to have such a thing, and I have never suffered either sexually or self-esteem-wise because of it. Just never got around to it. Its not that I don’t buy into sexy. I like sexy and to feel sexy, it’s just personally I’m more like the sexy librarian than the kind of girl who looks like she should be working on a pole. But okay, today I had decided to go for broke. Today I would get the panties that matched this fabulous bra. What the hell.
Then she brought the panties. She said they were panties, but I wasn’t so sure. In the front, yes they had that kind of tuxedo thing going on around I guess you could say where the band of the panties should go; they were kind of that hipster-style brief, but everything else, including the crotch, was tulle. Black tulle. There was no elastic in the back or anything, it was just tulle, and I could picture my cheeks basically swinging in the breeze that this flowing fabric would fan. But I’m a gamer, I figured I would check it out, and I did, but it didn’t feel right. It wasn’t me.
Then I looked at the price tag: FIFTY-FOUR DOLLARS. For panties! That had very little fabric! Fifty-four dollars…I don’t even know that I have ever paid that much for a whole pair of pants. I probably have, but I am sure I felt like I better get my money’s worth out of them.
So then I thought, crap, I already said I was taking the bra, let me check the price tag here. Va-Voom! I don’t want to tell you the exact price, but let me just say that those beans could buy a lot of Jockeys. But you know, Jockey’s not that sexy, so I went with it. I’ll wear it for those special special occasions, and when I do, even though I probably won’t be able to breath as freely, and the lace on the straps are likely as not to give me a rash, I will feel like a million bucks. At least for the evening.
The First Casualty
Posted: January 24, 2009 Filed under: family | Tags: fish 1 CommentClooney just came to me to say that there was “something wrong with Anthony” the fish. I kind of knew it was coming because when I fed them today, only two fish seemed to be coming to the surface to eat. I followed Clooney up there, and sure enough…to say Anthony didn’t look good would be an understatement. His bloated yellow-tailed body was stuck upside down against the glass of the tank.
R.I.P. Anthony.
Alternate Reality
Posted: January 24, 2009 Filed under: family | Tags: Nintendo DS Leave a commentWe all have our favorite distractions. I myself have the Facebook, and a few other haunts here in cyberspace. The boys have Nintendo DS. I have a love/hate relationship with the Nintendo DS. On one hand, sometimes the boys are hard to reach. They play in the car, or before school, after school. It borders on obsession. I have to repeat things over and over to get attention. It can be frustrating.
But on the other hand…the house sure is quiet.
If the dress fits…
Posted: January 23, 2009 Filed under: Dieting, family | Tags: diet, Jenny Craig 1 CommentSeveral years ago, there was a Laura Ashley store here in town that was going out of business. I wouldn’t call myself a huge fan of Laura Ashley, but I happened to wander into the store, and I fell in love with a dress. It was this navy blue A-line timeless number, and it had soft, yet nubby, delicate navy blue roses embossed in its fabric. I bought the thing, I think without even trying it on, despite the fact that there were no returns because the store was closing.
Even at 60% off, it wasn’t cheap, but I figured that if it was too small, it would give me a goal. I brought it to the counter, and the salesclerk reminded me of the no return policy. When I said okay, she kind of gave a me a look that said Okay, lady, but you’re never going to pull it off.
That look, that parting thought, her resignation that the customer is always right, no matter what I might think has haunted me all these years, because as it turned out, she was right. I had misread the size on the tag, which said 12, but a UK size 12. In the States, it was a size 8 (and I think it was cut as a small 8 at that), and at the time, I was more of a US 12. The thing fit me like a navy blue sausage casing. Those delicate embossed roses stretched across my mid section and looked more like warped clown faces than anything remotely floral.
I never wore the thing. It has hung in my overflow closet, complete with the tags. I thought about selling it on eBay, as I had other children, and my size ballooned to 14 and even 16, but something always kept me from parting with it. I really was crazy about that dress when I bought it.
Anyway, next weekend, I am going to a baby shower, and I was thinking of buying a new outfit, but then I thought, let me check and see if I have anything old that might fit. The Laura Ashley does. It’s the tiniest bit tight across the bust (which Manfrengensen will be glad to hear) but it drapes beautifully over my abs and butt.
I wish you could see how I am grinning at the moment.
There are still three fish…
Posted: January 21, 2009 Filed under: family | Tags: fish, pets Leave a comment….for now.
I’ve been feeding them, as I always knew I would end up doing, for almost a week now. What have they had those fish for? Two weeks?
When I brought this to the boys’ attention, they complained that they didn’t like to feed the fish because “the food smells bad.”
I think this is why I was reluctant to start them with any pets, but also why I am glad that we started with the flushable kind.
Bush: the Rolling Stone Interview
Posted: January 13, 2009 Filed under: family, Media Leave a commentSo, George Bush is on the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine for the current issue, which features an article it touts as “BUSH Apologizes: The Farewell Interview We Wish He’d Give by Matt Taibbi.”
You know, Rolling Stone, I admire what you want in terms of honesty from this most dishonest of administrations, but you waste your ink with trivial and frankly juvenile fancies by proposing that Bush accuses Condolezza Rice of farting in the Oval Office, or that Colin Powell would mimic Donald Rumsfeld to his face. I can’t get through the whole article, but then, you probably didn’t write it for me. I’m guessing your target market, males 15-25 who treat MTVs Jackass as gospel, probably think it’s hilarious.
Overall though, the article proves what I figured out more than a decade ago: Rolling Stone is in no way any kind of vehicle for serious journalism.
OTHER NEWS
Happy sixth birthday, Clooney! My special guy with super-long eyelashes and heart-shaped nostrils. You make my world a brighter place. You are my super-nova.
A Case of The Mondays
Posted: January 12, 2009 Filed under: Books, Entertainment, family, television | Tags: Colin Farrell, Masterpiece PBS, stomach bug, Tess of the D'Urbervilles Leave a commentSo, yeah, I just mopped the kitchen floor. I hate mopping.
Last night, just as I was setting dinner on the table, Edison came down with a stomach bug of epic proportions. It was like that scene in Stand By Me with the pie eating contest. I’m talking everywhere. Not sure he could have hit more surfaces if he had tried. Basically, he ran for the bathroom, and just missed the toilet, and when it splashed off the rim, it hit the rest of the powder room like spin art.
I scoured that room last night, cleaned and disinfected the family room rug, (though I still think we might need to just burn that), and then today I did the kitchen floor with a little more elbow grease than I had the time for last night.
Fun!
Also last night, I watched the second half of Tess of the D’Urbervilles on PBS’s Masterpiece. It was good, but the end was kind of a downer. Plus, you know, it was one of those BBC productions. There are plenty of good looking 
Brits. You got your Clive Owen, your Jude Law. I don’t swing that particular way, but neither Kate Winslet nor Kate Beckinsale is hard on the eyes. So, what then is with the BBC productions? Other than Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice…with a few exceptions in every production, it’s a lot of horse-faces. We don’t claim to look like Brangelina or anything, but Manfrengensen says it’s like watching a propaganda ad against socialized dentistry.
The actress who played Tess was attractive, but then in the end, don’t want to ruin it for you, but her horse-faced husband ends up with her sister and I kind of felt sorry for them for a number of reasons, the very least of which was their fates. Not that I am superficial or anything, but you know, if I want to get into a romance, I don’t need Fabio, but for me, they need to throw in a little more eye candy. I don’t think I am alone here, I mean, that’s why Colin Farrell’s the leading man and Bob Hoskins isn’t. I mean no disrespect to Mr. Hoskins, mind you. He’s a fine actor, but I don’t want to see him strip down to his tighty whiteys, if you know what I mean.
He's Irish, I know, but you get what I'm saying.
Tess was one of the books we had to read at my Catholic girls high school, along with The Scarlet Letter and A Light In August. The fates of wayward women were big in that literary curriculum.
I have like fifty pages left in Abundance: A Novel of Marie Antoinette. Overall, the book has been excellent. I think I will read Naslund’s Ahab’s Wife next. Love her writing. Ethereal and accessible. A book I think about all day and cannot wait to find time to get to.
Just Another Day
Posted: January 12, 2009 Filed under: family | Tags: mother loss, motherless, mothers 1 Comment
Me with My Mom. Miami 1965
Today would have been my mother’s 70th birthday, which means that give or take a few months, she has been dead for as long as she lived.
It’s strange how this is such a defining thing for me, such a huge part of who I am and how I approach the world, and yet it is suppressed, not really on the surface, a taboo subject for the outside world. I never talk about my mother with my friends. They never ask about that part of me. When I do bring it up, I can always tell right away that I’ve crossed a line. I don’t know if they can’t deal with it, it’s too emotional a thing for them to contemplate happening to themselves or their children, or perhaps they just don’t know what to say.
I do have one other friend who has lost her mother, Lyra, though Lyra’s mother passed away just before Lyra had her first child five years ago. I know this because Lyra told me once, when we were alone, and she was pretty drunk. I don’t even know if she knows I know what that’s like, kind of; I don’t remember my experience being a part of that conversation. And I have to say, that I have hesitated to bring it up to her, just as I hesitate to bring it up even to my own siblings, for fear of bringing them all down.
At the holiday gathering of my book club, we always do this sort of recap of the books we’ve read over the past year. We use a poll that we made up a few years ago, and then I compile the answers and share them at this gathering. One of the questions asks which character we felt we related to most. Usually there are as many answers as our club has members. My character this year was Elizabeth from Marisa De Los Santos’ Belong to Me, a young mother dying of cancer who leaves two small children behind. The women in the group gasped when I gave my answer, and they questioned why I had chosen her. I said that I felt De Los Santos had really captured what I always felt my mother had gone through.
And the subject was dropped, along with all their eyes.
It’s a weird and kind of lonely feeling. But today is her birthday, and I really would rather celebrate her than mourn her, though my current state of PMS weighs me toward the latter.
She was a wonderful mother, and an amazing wife. The woman ironed absolutely everything, including sheets, handkerchiefs, even my father’s boxer shorts. She was funny, and had a wide smile that lit up any room she was in. She liked chocolate Tastykakes. She used to get her hair done at the beauty salon, where they would spray it hard like a helmet (one could argue that it was that PVC-laden indulgence that killed her), and then, with her hair perfectly set, she could somehow swim in the summers without getting it wet.
She loved to tan. She loved the beach. She loved her kids and my father. She never went to college, though rumor has it that she wanted to. She was pretty heavily into Catholicism, and I was born nine months after she married my dad. She was always, always there for us kids, right up until she died.
They hid that from us. She was sick for two years before, and we never saw it coming. Sometimes I have wondered if that was the right thing (and my father has too). But you know, even though in a lot of ways, it seemed as though the rug was pulled out from under us suddenly, I am thankful that they gave us that much more of an almost normal childhood.
God, I miss my mom.
Today turned out to be a day of celebration. Clooney’s birthday is two days away, and we celebrated with a moonbouncing party attendend by about two dozen of his friends. I turned my focus on that fun. As my father has always said, I have to look at all the wonderful and beautiful things that I have, let the things I don’t have be part but not define me. Most days, that works.
An Attempt, Albeit Failed, To Start Her Young On the Grammar
Posted: January 6, 2009 Filed under: Dieting, family | Tags: Barbie, grammar, Jenny Craig 1 CommentThe Princess just had me change a Barbie into Cinderella Barbie’s dress so that the doll didn’t look like a tramp any more.
“Her looks beautiful!” The Princess exclaimed, and I corrected her.
“She,” I said,” SHE looks beautiful.”
And The Princess grinned, “Yes, she does.”
I have been the Super Mom so far this week. Yesterday The Princess and I started her in a tumbling class that she took right to. And I think it made her happier all day. She didn’t really fight me on anything all day, even though she was tired, and we had a lot of laughs.
We also had a few errands to run after the tumbling, including a stop at PetSmart to pick up THE FISH.
THE FISH.
Edison and Clooney have been angling for fish since before the summer. We first put them off with the excuse that we travel a lot in the summer, and therefor it might be hard to keep the little suckers alive. Then when autumn came, I put them off with the idea that I didn’t know where we would put the tank.
Well, Friday we were in that shopping center, and I took them over there, because it’s kind of like a free trip to the zoo, and they started with the fish thing.
Goldfish in this one, but it's the same tank.
It seemed like almost everything was on sale at the store, trying to get rid of holiday stock I guess. Heading for the automatic doors, I noticed a tank that looked cool and wasn’t much in the way of an initial (and let’s be honest with ourselves – ultimately fruitless) investment.
And so we bought the thing, with them in my wake, and at least in my mind’s memory they were chanting, “FISH TANK! FISH TANK! FISH TANK!”
We prepped the water over the weekend, and as of yesterday became the proud owners of three fancy-tailed guppies. The boys were so excited that they ran right up there when they got home from school without even bothering to take their coats off.
Edison named two of them: Red Tail and Red-Red. Clooney named the other one “Anthony.”
One other thing I have been meaning to mention, in case you are thinking about starting your new year with a diet:
I’m still doing the Jenny Craig, and it is working out well. So far, I have lost 26 pounds in 16 weeks. I have another nine to go to get to my goal. Overall, it has been easy to follow, and I have enjoyed the food, though there have been times when I have gotten into a rut with the things I like, and that makes me kind of bored with the selection.
The holidays were tough, but I still did well. I stuck to the diet, but gave myself Christmas Eve and Christmas dinners off. There have been other times when we have been out to dinner or lunch, so I haven’t had EVERY meal for the last four months on Jenny Craig. But I watch my portions, and I think about what I am eating. So far, I’ve kept losing, and that’s a pretty good feeling.
I’m not big on working out, but I have been doing that as well for the last few weeks. I hate to go, but after I do, I feel really good too. My goal is to be in a bikini this summer….lofty.
egghead23's world 