Lattice of Coincidence
Posted: May 14, 2008 Filed under: Day-to-Day, movies | Tags: coincidence, Incredible Hulk, Repo Man Leave a comment“A lot o’ people don’t realize what’s really going on. They view life as a bunch o’ unconnected incidents ‘n things. They don’t realize that there’s this, like, lattice o’ coincidence that lays on top o’ everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you’re thinkin’ about a plate o’ shrimp. Suddenly someone’ll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o’ shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin’ for one, either. It’s all part of a cosmic unconciousness.”
- Miller in Repo Man
This line rings true for me more often than I’d care to admit. Like sometimes, I’ll be thinking of The Incredible Hulk, and this will show up in my yard for no reason that I know:
I like how it’s busting out of its cover, ala Bruce Banner/Hulk. How did this ball come to settle near my trash cans? Did I will it there with my anticipation of this summer’s movie? Did it escape the angry kicks of the kid up the street? It most likely traveled on the wind of the weekend’s nor’easter, but coincidence? I think not.
Daily Run-Down
Posted: May 8, 2008 Filed under: Day-to-Day, family | Tags: bike riding, biting, household, june cleaver, kids, parenting, tasmanian devil, toddlers Leave a commentIt was the full day yesterday. The day began like any other, with getting the boys ready for school. I used to be a morning person. I don’t know what happened to me. Kids, I think. In my heart of hearts, I
want to be June Cleaver in the morning. I want to pack their lunches and cook them a full breakfast (though they are so picky, they’d refuse to eat it.) I want to send them off with a hug, a smile and a wave like the domestic queen I like to think I am.
But the reality is a little different. They start bickering from the get-go. I am usually greeted not with a salutation, but a tattle. “He’s in my bed and he won’t get off my arm,” or “He’s not listening to me,” etc. So that tends to set the tone for the morning, and by the time they are finished breakfast, rather than the hug, wave and smile, (actually I usually do get that hug, but then they run to the back door in competition over who gets there first and whose turn it is to open it, and they’re usually yelling at each other in the process) nine days out of ten, I feel like, “See you at three, don’t let the door hit you in the ass!”
I took Ee to the park late in the morning (after cleaning our shower and folding some laundry), then we walked to school to get T3. It’s a distance of almost two miles. She actually walked a good part of the way herself. She is a feisty little trooper, and I enjoyed watching her explore the urban terrain along the way. We had time. She touched flowers, chased a cat, blew the feathery seeds of an aging dandelion and then got them stuck on her tongue. She spat and sputtered, got all flustered. She tested the seating properties of various railroad ties people were using as borders for the landscaping in their front yards. It was awesome watching the little wheels turning in her head.
When she asks for my hand, my heart soars! There’s no better feeling in the world than holding your child’s hand when they initiate the contact. Is there?
Then on the way back, I pushed them both in the double stroller while they munched leisurely on pretzel goldfish. Those last couple of blocks are tough! Pushing 70 pounds of kids plus the weight of the double jogger. Killer. Then we had lunch at home, (they like peanut butter sandwiches in the shape of stars — See? I can get my “Cleaver” on by noon) and while they were playing upstairs, I folded more laundry.
Next thing I knew, T3 was screaming. SCREAMING. Turned out Ee had bitten him on the arm, so hard that she broke the skin and left a full imprint of her bite radius. I did what I usually do: I yelled, and put her in her crib, that old Sicilian blood in me boiling over, bubbling like hot lava. I was so angry that I couldn’t look at her. I hate that I am so quick tempered, like I am made of nothing but dry straw and then poof! I’m engulfed in flame. But then I calmed down, consulted a parenting book and went back in to calmly tell her it “wasn’t okay” to bite. She said she was sorry, and she wanted to kiss T3, which was kind of cute. Then she went down for a nap.
She’s going through the phase with the biting. It’s not the first time. Seems to happen when she’s frustrated, someone won’t let her do or have what she wants, and she doesn’t have any other means of expression. We’re working it out. Needless to say, T3 was not happy, especially since for some reason, he is her favorite victim
While she slept, T3 and I played a couple of Wii games, which brought him back to himself. Later we picked J up from school, came home for a snack, and went back to the park. A bunch of their friends were there, and some of mine as well. The park is always more fun that way.
In a development that rivals the shock and wonder of almost every surprise I’ve ever heard of, J (wonderful, amazing and beautiful J, who runs like an elongated penguin and is usually more interested in intellectual pursuits than physical) just started riding a two-wheel bike on Tuesday. For a year we’ve been trying to get him on his training-wheel bike to no avail. He had fallen once or twice, not long after we’d bought the thing, and trepidation about biking has ruled him ever since. Then without warning, he just hopped on some kids’ bike at the park and took off. He couldn’t wait to get on his bike yesterday, and he spent most of the time at the park going in circles on the basketball court.
We got back to the house after Manfrengensen had come home from work, and by then I was too tired to make dinner. We just ordered pizza. My parents came by on their way home from the gym to see J on his bike, then we stayed outside for a while and let the kids race in the alley behind the house on their bikes. By the time we got everyone bathed and to bed, nine o’clock was in sight.
One other note: not long ago, Manfrengensen joined the local rotary chapter in order to increase the visibility of his business. He’s the youngest member, by far. Every week they go to lunch, and a speaker makes a presentation. The guy who coordinates the speakers is coming to the end of his tenure, and I guess the people he’s lining up…anyway, yesterday’s speaker was an older gentleman, somewhere in his eighties, who spoke for an hour about his stuffed animal collection.
Manfrengensen said it was one of those situations where you couldn’t make eye contact with anyone else in the room for fear you’d both break out in fits of uncontrollable laughter.
Why?
Posted: April 25, 2008 Filed under: Day-to-Day, family, Politics | Tags: Media, obama, Orwell, parenting, Politics Leave a comment
Ee has started asking “Why?” I love that phase. In this photo, I think she reminds me a bit of the amphibious character, Abe Sapien, from Hellboy. Those glasses are on upside down, by the way.
Wednesday, we went to lunch at a diner not far from our house because we had painters working in our kitchen. We were there for a few minutes when an older couple slid into the booth behind us. They must have been regulars, because when the waitress sidled up they exchanged friendly greetings, and the talk soon turned to the previous day’s primary in Pennsylvania.
Not that I was eavesdropping. I was sitting in our booth, trying to keep my monkeys in their seats.
But every so often, a snippet of their conversation reached my ears, and I was subsequently appalled. The old man said, “I don’t like that Obama…” and the kids had my attention for a second, “They say he’s…” T3, would you sit down and eat your grilled cheese? and then finally: “His name is just one letter off from Osama…” and I was like, huh?... “and those connections really scare me.”
Which connections was he talking about? Were they the ones Obama made at Columbia University or Harvard Law School? How about the ones he made while he was teaching at The University of Chicago Law School, or the connections he made serving in the U.S. Senate? Do those connections mean anything to this guy?
I’ll tell you what scares me: it’s how ignorant of the facts some people can be. How can people go through life so blindly? Again, I have to blame the media, specifically TV, since most people don’t even read any more. It is the TV news networks who are to blame for the sad state of American democracy. It is they who have perpetuated the disinformation and innuendo put forth by Obama’s opponents. It is they who continue to broadcast anything said by anyone without bothering to check for facts. And it’s a shame that some people in our country are too lazy or distracted by the day-to-day to find out the real facts about Barack Obama the Man or Barack Obama the Leader.
I’m not saying you have to vote for Obama, but I do think that if you decide not to vote for him, you should base that decision on the facts, not some slanderous allegation or sleezy “slip of the tongue” made by John Ashcroft, Mitt Romney, or Wolf Blitzer.
The moment has really stuck with me. Sometimes, I think I’m too cynical, but other times, I think, no, I’m right.
I know Orwell was right. He was just off by 20 years:
War Is Peace Freedom is Slavery Ignorance is Strength
It’s time for change.
Update on Banana Bread: Serious doorstop material. Yesterday T3 began to ask for a piece, and then thought the better of it, “Mom, can I please have a piece of ba– um, some other kind of snack?”
Renouncing Plastic
Posted: April 23, 2008 Filed under: Day-to-Day, family | Tags: BPA, plastic bottles Leave a commentThere’s that line in The Graduate where the older man gives Benjamin one word of advice: Plastics.
But that was the 1960’s, and here we are forty years later, and it turns out that we’re ingesting the stuff, and that’s most likely not a good thing.
From today’s NYTimes:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/22/health/22well.html?em&ex=1209096000&en=8a1d4bc01b9099f4&ei=5087%0A
And I quote:
“The 2003-4 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found detectable levels of BPA in 93 percent of urine samples collected from more than 2,500 adults and children over 6.”
93 percent. The focus is mostly on water bottles, but it turns out that the stuff is used to line aluminum cans, in which you find the soup, vegetables and other edibles you’ve been consuming since childhood.
And even if you don’t eat that stuff, 93 percent of other people (according to this random sample) are peeing it back into the water supply.
There are some things you can do though, according to the article. Eat frozen or fresh produce and use glass or aluminum bottles. I just bought everyone plastic water bottles like two weeks ago, thinking I would help the environment, etc…oh well. I threw away the labels, so I am not sure whether they are BPA-free. Guess I’ll go back to the store and check.
Another interesting point in the article is that there are hundreds of kinds of plastic containers that people routinely wash in their dishwashers. No testing has been done on what effect this has on the plastic. Hmmm…
One last thing about my weekend
Posted: April 14, 2008 Filed under: Day-to-Day, family | Tags: Britney Spears, bullies, Target, Wii, working out Leave a commentI did workout today. I go to this little gym near my house. I like it, because it’s usually pretty quiet, at least during the hours of the day when I go. It’s laid back. Today, the front door was broken and propped open with a weight. I signed in, and as I usually do, I left my car keys at the far corner of the front desk.
There was nobody there. Just the girl behind the desk but no personal trainers. One woman was on an eliptical, and a man was doing some work on the weight machines. I did what I usually do and 45 minutes later went to get my keys. The girl at the front desk hadn’t gotten up once from her seat, and it kind of looked like she was doing a report for college or something. As I was grabbing the keys, something caught my eye on her computer screen, and I had to do a double take. It was a photo of a hairless, uncircumcised penis. Just kind of…not what I expected to see first thing Sunday morning.
I picked J up from Sunday school and took him out. He kind of had a rough week with another kid at school, not bullying per se, but general unkindness.
I think the other kid has academic frustrations, sees J doesn’t, and kind of takes it out on him. I have been talking to J about his feelings and plan to see the teacher this week. But you know, it’s tough on a seven-year old. Plus, when you add what’s going on at school with the fact that he’s been going to bed too late and getting up too early, J’s basically been as emotional as Britney Spears.
So, I wanted to spend a little one-on-one time with him. We went to lunch, and then stopped by Target to pick up items I had left there in a bag last week. They were really cool about it. Turns out each register keeps the receipts from items left behind, and then the customer service rep told me to go get them again and I took them home. But I got to thinking — she had a HUGE stack of receipts in that binder. How much stuff is paid for every year and left behind that goes unclaimed? Target just puts it back on the shelf for resale. It must mean lots of $$$ for them and other retailers.
Anyway, here’s the big news: While I was in line at customer service, the woman in front of me returned a Wii. That got me thinking about my unrequited Wii search. J’s birthday is coming up, and that’s what we’ve been saying we were going to get him, but we haven’t been able to find one. After we finished up at customer service, we did some shopping and wandered into the electronics section where I looked wistfully for Wii. A woman in a red shirt, who’s nametag said DOREEN, asked me if I needed anything, and I asked if she could tell me if there was a particular day when Wiis came in, when I might be able to stalk this elusive prey. Doreen said, “Hang on a sec. One just got returned to customer service, let me make sure there’s nothing wrong with it, otherwise you can have it.” Five minutes later, I bought a Wii. Thanks, DOREEN! Wee!!
Not that I think material possessions can cure any woe, but J is feeling a lot better tonight. He kicked his father’s butt in cartoonish boxing.
Snapshots
Posted: April 13, 2008 Filed under: Day-to-Day | Tags: DVD, family, homes, kids, movies, parenting, Rocket Science, talking heads, toys 1 Comment
So this morning, Ee asked me to help her take out a toy McDonald’s cash register that my mother-in-law had given her. My mother-in-law has bought the kids like four cash registers, all complete with annoying sounds. Anyway, when I picked it up off the shelf, the thing rattled, which was unusual. Upon closer inspection, I found all the missing spare keys that had disappeared from the junk drawer recently.
Somebody’s kids are grumpy this morning. Manfrengensen and I went out last night, left two of them with a babysitter and took the other one to a moon bounce birthday party. We dropped him off and went for Mexican. Damn, those Mexicans can sure cook up some tasty vittles!
After that, we had some time to kill, so we took a drive through a neighborhood near our own where the houses are, shall we say, a bit more expensive.
And some of them were ostentaciously huge. Some of them were certifiable compounds. One looked like something out of an Jane Austen adaptation. Another looked like a building on an Ivy League campus. But others looked more reasonable. Manfrengensen said, “This looks like the kind of neighborhood where afternoon tea is obligatory.” I said more like afternoon cocktails. We pulled up in front of a gorgeous brick number with a FOR SALE sign on the lawn, that looked like it might almost be in our price range, but the fantasy in my head dissipated just then, when the Talking Heads sang “This is not my beautiful house” on the radio. Kind of reminded me of when Manfrengensen bought a Jetta in 1999. We signed the papers at the dealer and got in. As he turned the key in the ignition, the radio spat out Cracker: “A million miles, a million miles…” A lattice of coincidence lays over top of everything…
I don’t necessarily fantasize about having a nicer house. It would be nice to have just a little more room though. And a basement that doesn’t breed cooties.
In any case, I guess everyone went to bed too late and got up too early. I know I did.

Moments from Parenting
Ee brought her toy camera to me this morning. It has Buzz Lightyear on it and was, at one time, filled with candy. “Cheese,” she said. Then she went to her brothers and did the same. To me, she reported that she had “cheesed” them.
Last night, T3 came over to me and furrowed his brow. “Do you know what kind of face I’m making?” he asked. I guessed: angry? thinking? “No,” he said, “I’m retermined.”
A Brief Movie Review
Manfrengensen and I watched this really great movie the other night called Rocket Science. A small, indie-movie about a stuttering teen who joins the competitive world of debate teams in order to win an illusive love, it was really cute, hilariously funny, and took us in a completely different direction than we expected it to. Highly recommend.
Today I am retermined to go to the gym and not to get stressed about anything.
Finally Friday
Posted: April 12, 2008 Filed under: Day-to-Day | Tags: calgon, family, grocery shopping, life, stress Leave a commentIt’s the last day of the longest week ever. It started out quite motherly, when T3 woke up with strep. I didn’t know it was strep at the time, but he had a fever, and he said his “mouth hurt.” I swung into action, fluffing pillows, utilizing the thermometer, bringing in drinks and ice chips. Since he’s five, I figured “mouth” meant his throat, so I called the doctor. Strep is, after all, always going around.
I got him all situated with his beverages, let him have a popcicle for breakfast, set him up in bed to watch 101 Dalmations.
He seemed so miserable. I never bothered to check his forehead again, just waited for his afternoon appointment. So we made it to the doctor, Ee (who’s 2) in tow. When we got into the exam room, he mentioned again that his mouth hurt and he pulled it open to show me what appeared to be a canker sore. Freaking great, I thought, I’m paying three figures for a pimple in his cheek. (We have an HSA and haven’t hit our deductible yet.) At that point, he had no fever either, so I really worried that I was going to look like a looney mom. Turned out he had strep though. Woo-hoo! Was it wrong for me to be psyched that I wasn’t wasting time and money?
He went back to school on Wednesday. He seemed ready, but then in the afternoon, he was something else entirely. While he was there, I took the morning to run a few errands that had been on the shelf for the first part of the week. I took Ee to the mall, and she basically went insane there. First of all, she didn’t want to sit in the stroller, so she took off running. She was running in the racks, pulling out all kinds of crazy stuff and demanding I buy it for her. No way I’m buying an umbrella for a 2-year-old. Also, I’m not buying her Strawberry Shortcake underwear. She doesn’t even like Strawberry Shortcake, in fact, I doubt she even knows who the hell Strawberry Shortcake is. But more importantly, she’s not even potty-trained.
After school, I still had to make a quick trip to the grocery store, that ended up taking me an hour. I don’t know if you’ve ever taken a five-year-old and a two-year-old together to the grocery store, but if you haven’t had that “pleasure,” let me tell you, you might as well just hit your hand with a hammer, because it’s just about the same amount of fun. I went to the second-closest, and coincidentally also second-dirtiest grocery store in town, where T3 proceeded to bounce down the aisles like a pinball. He wanted this, he wanted that. Don’t you want this, Mom? Don’t you want that? I couldn’t hear myself think. At one point, he dropped the cap to the bottle of water I had gotten him, and after chasing it across the floor in front of the meat section, he picked it up and put it in his mouth. Aaaahhh!!! Just lucky he was already taking antibiotics. Meanwhile, waiting for cheese at the deli counter, I looked over, and there was Ee, licking the back of the seat in the shopping cart. Aaaaaahhh!! I wish I could tell you it got better from there, but basically the day was just a wash…of stress.
Thursday I was a little more “in tune” to what he really needed. He was so tired after school, that he just wasn’t making sense. I had walked to pick him up from school. I knew he’d want a snack and a drink, so I brought him water and a baggie full of goldfish. We stopped by to see his stylist down the street, who said she could squeeze him in for a cut if we could wait fifteen minutes. While we were waiting, I polished off my own water bottle, and he freaked out. “Thanks, Mom,” he yelled. “Thanks for finishing off my only bottle of water!” But he was holding his own bottle (3/4 full) under his arm. No amount of reasoning could make him see that it was there. He was just so out of it. I took him home and put him to bed, where he snoozed for three hours.
Overall, tensions were high all week for all of us, even with the good weather. We are finally starting to get outside, and we need that. We need outside, and we need our naps.
We’ll see what tomorrow will bring.




