What’s Going On

Haven’t written in a while…I have been busy putting dresses on princesses from these Disney sets The Princess got for her birthday.  The dresses are made of rubber, and she can’t really put them on the dolls by herself.  Though she can take them off like nobody’s business.  The sets are great.   I’d say she spends 70-80%

Cinderella Precious Princess Sparkle Bag

Cinderella Precious Princess Sparkle Bag

of her playtime imagining with them.  I had bought her a small Snow White set at the grocery store last month that came with two outfits and a little Dopey doll.  No idea what’s become of Dopey.  Her aunt and uncle got her more expanded sets of Sleeping Beauty and Belle, each of which came with three outfits and some other accessories like Mrs. Pots and Chip, the teacup.  Then yesterday, we were shopping for gifts for upcoming events, and she came across a Cinderella set.  I don’t really like to buy stuff “off-holiday,” but I buckled yesterday because she was so excited about how this set came with Prince Charming.  Plus, like I said, she plays with it almost all day.  So, I caved. And it is pretty cute seeing her imagine them dancing together, humming her off-key, awkward-rhythm waltz.

The only slightly negative thing I have to say about them is that every dress comes with a matching pair of shoes that don’t stay on too well. We have probably lost a third of them so far.  I’m sure if we busted open the vacuum cleaner bag, we would find them.

Speaking of toys — have you ever experienced a kids game called Lucky Ducks?  It’s kind of like the duck pond you would find at a carnival, only there’s no water, and the ducks go around in a motorized circle, making repetitive and squeaky quacking sounds as they do.  The object is to find four ducks with the same color on their bottoms.  The Princess is playing it right now.  I’m telling you, if we took a few of these games down to Guantanamo, and fired them up, we’d be able to find Bin Laden within an hour.

Though I am sure the use of this game is outlawed by the Geneva Convention.

 

Diet Update

In other news, the diet continues.  So far, I have lost 7 pounds, which is motivational for the continuation.  But you know, I still think about the money.  Maybe it’s the part of me that’s always been broke, (a sense I will probably never shake — which I am sure is somewhat comforting to Manfrengensen) but I think, yeah that’s great, but what is it, like fifty bucks a pound?

But I feel good, I must say.  I do see a bit of a difference in my carriage.  Yesterday I actually found an outfit that fits me nicely (though it will look infinitely better with a little tummy control) which is good because in the coming weeks I have many social engagements, baby showers, baptisms and the like.  And of course you know that when you look good, you feel good, dahling.

I have tried a few other things on the menu, and I would like to tell you that if you are planning to do Jenny Craig, you should avoid the Breakfast Scramble.  It’s like an egg and cheese thing served over diced potatoes.  In general, I don’t like to mix my egg and potatoes in a hash-like state, but that wasn’t the worst of it.  I think it was the cheese…too tangy?  Or maybe it was the turkey bacon cubes…too smokey? I don’t know.  Not for me.

 

Good stuff though — Chocolate Walnut Brownie.  Too small.  But brownies always are.


Chicks

I was out with some women friends the other night, and one of them complimented another on her fabulous shoes.  The shoe lady said, “Thanks, I bought them as revenge when Scott took that golf trip to Arizona last month.”  I was like, WHAT???  I don’t get that. Are we the chicks from Desperate Housewives?  Who thinks like that? Who buys an expensive item to take vengeance on a spouse?  That makes no sense to me.  Isn’t his money your money?  If you end up without the funds to pay the mortgage because you spent $600 on shoes, are you not both out on the street?  And besides, did Scott really care?  Did that $600 really make a dent in his Porche-driving pocket?

Silly girl.


Shell of my former self

I was so excited for today that I could hardly sleep last night.  The weather promised to be beautiful, even more beautiful than usual for the season.  Sunny with a high of 75, no humidity, rare for this region at this time of year.  Days don’t get better than that.

I made plans to take the kids to the park.  They had play dates, and I looked forward to seeing the moms and sharing a bit of adult conversation.  It was fun.  T3’s friend was waiting for him when we got there, and J’s showed up a few minutes later.  In addition to that, another friend of J showed up within the hour and more friends of T3 were there as well.  We stayed until after lunch, and everyone had a good time, except maybe for Ee who wanted more swing push and attention from me.  Toward the end, she climbed into my arms and pressed her face against mine in an effort to get me undivided.

It was nice to visit with my lady friends, and I found it amusing the way they laughed that I  was like Supermom when I pulled out the  water, juice boxes and snacks.  First of all, I had planned from the first to be there for a good part of the day, but also, if they had seen me scrambling to get kids dressed, snacks packed and stroller loaded by 10:30, they would have seen something other than Supermom entirely. Not that I was channeling her today, but I do tend to consider Elastigirl (a.k.a. Mrs. Incredible) my role model.

So we came home before two (almost three hours out there) and T3’s friend came with us for a play date.  He stayed for a bit, and they all had fun, but then the friend had to leave.  I took the kids and walked several blocks to pick up my car, which was being serviced for yet another flat tire.  There’s been a lot of construction on the street this summer, and this is my second flat in as many months.  It turned out to be another nail.

Then we all drove to the grocery store for some supplies.  I don’t like taking all three of them to the grocery store, because it’s a bit hectic, but we needed some things that couldn’t wait.  My first mistake was not to make a list, because the three of them were buzzing around me, touching everything, T3 asking, “Do we need this?  Do we need this?” Ee wanting every toy or treat she saw, and J being good, but still tempted now and again to join the fray. In addition to the insanity, the store was undergoing a renovation, so I couldn’t find ANYTHING.  The new arrangement is really wacky too.  For example, they have certain brands of (but not all) tuna fish, mustard, pickles and mayo stocked on a shelf above the bread.  Shouldn’t that stuff be in the canned meat and condiment aisles respectively?  Are they just trying to make it easier on the sandwich builders?  I don’t know…just found it confusing.

About half way through, J said he needed to go, which he always needs to do, and of course T3 then said he had to go as well. They had my head spinning.  They went into the men’s room, and I waited outside the door to the restroom with Ee contained in the cart.  I put my head down on the handle and closed my eyes just to rest them for a second.  A woman said something about my choice of napping place.  I opened my eyes and smiled at her, and then turning away, I noticed I was standing next to the mixed drink mixes.  Sometimes I tend to make impulse purchases, and it was really hard today not to buy a gallon jug of cosmopolitan mix.  I really wanted one just then.

Things didn’t get better from there.  Ee kept asking for toys and treats, T3 kept fighting me about things he could and could not throw into the cart (butter, okay, eggs, not) and the struggle continued through what he could and could not load onto the conveyer belt and bag. By the time we got home, I was just like, I don’t care what you guys do now, just do it in your room and give me some time to myself.  Which they did.  Ee actually fell asleep, though the boys bickered in their room until dinner.

The worst bit of the story is actually that I forgot to buy coffee filters, which we are out of…will have to pull something Macgyver-esque in the morning.

Overall, a long day.  I feel as though someone’s hollowed me with a mellon baller.

 

 


Stream of Consciousness Day

Wheat ThinsThe other day I served these wheat crackers at a party we had for J’s birthday.  Today I was moving things around in the pantry, and I noticed there was a note on the front of the box of crackers claiming they are “IMPORTED.”  So, I thought, is that really necessary?  To import wheat crackers into the U.S.?  We grow wheat, in fact, farming wheat is a huge part of “our thing.” Amber waves of grain and such. What could be so great about imported wheat?  I decided to investigate further.  Turns out the crackers were made in Canada. Canada?  Really? That’s not imported.  From Canada should not count as imported.  Also turned out that the crackers are actually made by Kraft Foods.  Again, shouldn’t count as imported.  It’s like claiming Welch’s Grape juice is imported.  Stupid.

In any case, T3 says they tasted “like dog.”

 

Speaking of T3, he took another couple of weeks off my life today.  We went to the library, and they have a little playground there, so we hung out for a while after getting our books and stuff.  There were these two other boys there, and the four of them got right along, running and climbing and doing boy Cirque de Soleilstuff.  Super nice kids, very friendly and sweet, even to Ee, who kept trying to keep up with the four of them. I sat in the shade on a bench, and every so often they would congregate around me, quizzing me on different aspects of life.  The other boys were quite nimble, more nimble than my own, who tried, but could only watch them in amazement. The other boys were climbing to the top of the equipment, doing flips and things like something out of Cirque de Soleil.  These are girls, but you kind of get the idea.

So, they were all around me, and we were having a nice little chat, though T3 was still bouncing around on the bench and stuff.  All of a sudden, I saw him lose his grip, and BAM!  Darned if he didn’t smack his mouth right on the back of the metal bench, slamming all of his weight on his lower jaw.  He immediately started to cry, which is not his usual MO.  He came over to me and opened his mouth, and I couldn’t see his teeth for the blood.  I ran to my car and grabbed a handful of tissues, stanching the blood as best I could,  then collected everyone in order to rush home quickly to the ice pack.  It stopped bleeding soon after we got home, and luckily it seems like only one tooth is maybe a little loose, but overall, major disaster averted.

Still, this is how I feel a lot of the time:

 

 


Wednesday

Updated ShowerGood night’s sleep despite the wicked thunderstorms that raged last night.  Took our maiden showers in the newly updated facility.  We are still lacking the shower door (one to two weeks probably) but everything else was working — and heavenly so.

T3 slept without his pacifiers for the first time last night.  We have been trying to convince him to give them up for a long long time, but he only responded by tightening his grip and hoarding them.  When he finally turned them over to me yesterday, there was a total of eight, all of which he had been taking to bed with him each night.  Manfrengensen says this development is an example of why a free market economy works best.  If you give people an incentive, say a trip to ToysRUs, then they will do the right thing, like give up their binkies.

Last night, we also began the new program of “one meal” for the family each night, instead of the short-order cooking I have been doing.  Chicken soft tacos went over okay, even though they ate only the chicken and refused the tortillas.  Crazy, right?  They did eat it, even though it took them forever, and no one threw up, (though J did almost make himself gag a couple of times) but that’s a vast improvement over previous efforts to widen their horizons when it comes to eating.  Surprisingly, it was Ee who refused to eat, and she’s usually the one I don’t have to worry about.  She ate an apple for dinner instead.

I find I have been wasting a lot of time lately.  I should be working on my book, but the other night I went to work on it, and it is such a mess, not where I want it to be, that I just had to walk away.  It’s brewing though…

I went to book club the other night.  Sometimes I feel like…I have no connection to people.  I mean I like them, but when they all start talking about how they are looking forward to seeing Journey in concert, and re-constituted Journey at that…I have a hard time identifying. They were lamenting the fact that it wasn’t Steve Perry singing any more and I thought, Good, finally a reason to respect Steve Perry. Tell me about a re-constituted Clash concert, or the Replacements, and then maybe, maybe I will be interested.  I think I am just past the age for all that…nothing really tempts me, not even The Police, to shell out the Franklins.  Maybe the Pixies would…definitely, I’d go for the Pixies.  Yes, I know they did get back together briefly, but they didn’t come play close enough to me.

And what would be “close enough to me” exactly?  Ideally my living room, but even so, they didn’t come to my town or the closest major city.  Not that I would hear about it if they did because I avoid pop radio in general.

And it’s not that I think I am better than the Journey fans…I just feel like I am out of step with those I am surrounded by.  It’s like high school all over again, complete with the same soundtrack, only without the anxiety.

And when it comes to festival shows, I totally agree with Andrew Kuo, who put it perfectly in this graphic in the Sunday Times:

 

I couldn’t agree more, though because I am digitally challenged, I can’t make the graphic any bigger for you.  You can link to it here: Kuo Festival Chart.  I highly recommend you check it out, as I laughed out loud several times over breakfast this past Sunday while perusing it.

Gotta go to the park now, it’s a beautiful day…


Summertime

Great moment in a great day of being a mom today.  I took hold of one of the supersoakers, as the kids were complaining that they couldn’t get it to work.  They just weren’t pumping enough air into it, so I fixed it and squirted all five of them, (they had friends over from across the street) while shouting, “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!”  They all ran, squealing in that delightful way little kids do.

 

barn owlToday we were sitting at lunch and J said he thought barn owls were an endangered species.  I said I wasn’t so sure.  He claimed never to have seen one, so I asked, “Well, how many barns have you been in?”

“One,” he said, and went on to reason that since he hadn’t seen one there, they must be rare.

“I’ve been in a barn,” T3 chimed in.

“Oh, Yeah?” we asked.

“No,” he giggled, “it was actually a Barnes and Noble.  I’ve been in a Barnes and Noble.”

 

 

 


The Mood

Doesn’t it seem like a lot of people around you are angry?  It’s all because of gas prices, I think.  Well, gas prices and the cost of living in general.  People don’t have anything extra.  And when you don’t have anything extra, you don’t have a lot of mirth.

Manfrengensen was at the local Walgreen’s yesterday, and the guy in front of him paid a $40 tab with two dollar bills.  “Times are hard,” the man told the cashier.  He was cashing in bills he’d been saving for three decades.  Guess he thought they’d be worth something someday.  And they were — but the value was only two dollars.

Remember when the bottom fell out of the Beanie Baby market?

 

First boogie boarding of 2008.  The water was 55 degrees.Going to J’s “moving up” ceremony in a bit.  He turns eight today.  Eight – the “forty” of childhood.  It’s all downhill from here.  Next thing you know, childhood will be over.  He’ll be telling us what’s what with Santa and the Tooth Fairy.  Hair’s going to sprout in places.  His voice will change.  It’s all just around the bend.  Bittersweet. I took this photo of him on Memorial Day after his inaugural boogie board ride for the season.  The water was 55 degrees.

See my stepmom’s expression there in the background? That’s the look of “The Mood.”  The face you see on everyone.

Goose Chase

So now it’s summer, and as always, I am shopping for the unattainable.  Today I wonder, is it possible to find a sleeveless summer shirt that won’t expose my conspicuous cleavage?  I have all these photos of me and my kids at Disney World last year, and every time I look at them I think, Ooh, there are the kids with Cinderella….and my rack. I know this goes against the current fashion mindset, but when it comes to that kind of exposure, I beg to differ.  Less is more.

 


I Love the Smell of Napalm in the Morning

Bad MorningHave I mentioned that I am not good in the morning?  Plus it doesn’t help that I am currently addicted to MySims, and even though I quit playing it at 11:30, my brain kept going until almost two.  Ee woke me up at 6:30, insisting not only that I let her get out of her crib, but also that I dress her in full Cinderella regalia, and I couldn’t find the shoes. Tired.

Lately I have taken to muttering f-bombs under my breath when they are not in the room, which I know is not a good thing because one day, I’m going to turn around and one of them will be behind me wanting to know what that means, and I will feel even worse for muttering.

I wish I could be more like Manfrengensen.  He’s more the patient, nurturing parent.  He’s Father Teresa. I’m just a crazy mom.

Ee’s watching Dora the Explorer now. She likes those Super Babies.  Try getting that song out of your head.

 

The crazy thing is, that’s not the worst song on the show.

 

Anyway, the carpenter is here working on our shower.  We have run into some other issues.  Turned out that we couldn’t take the walls out because a pipe was running through one of them.  We could have removed just one of them, but then it would have looked kind of asymmetrical, so we are leaving it.  The carpenter is here replacing the floor that the plumber had to cut into to replace the drain.  The plumber removed the pan that lined the floor under the old tile.  The thing was made of lead.  Who knows how old it was.

Yeah, kind of on the negative side today, so I guess I will tackle the George issue.

 

The Case Against Grey’s Anatomy

(Part 3)

Are they kidding us with how many women fall for George O’Malley?  In the first season, he was pining for Meredith, but of course, she was off chasing McDreamy.  But then, somehow in a drunken and vulnerable moment, she slept with him.  Ew.  Then in the second season, he started messing Meredith, George, Izziearound with Callie, and eventually married her.  She claimed George was her McDreamy.  But then he had an affair with Izzie, which was actually one drunken night that they tried to build on (can you ever really build something solid on a foundation of a drunken night though?) so he left Callie O’Malley and tried to make it work with Izzie, which of course, it didn’t.  Now, he has moved into a platonic living situation with Meredith’s sister Lexi, and Lexi is pining for George. Ew.

There is way to much swinging of partners round and round in this show.  I can’t keep up any more.  All of it means nothing, adds up to nothing.  I just don’t care about any of them.

It’s like the writers are running a political campaign.  They try their ideas, find the polls don’t like them, then they abandon the course and try something else.  But what I feel like as a viewer is that I can’t invest in any of these story lines.  It’s just going to be abandoned in the end.  They all go nowhere.  Waste of time.

Next up, my final random thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy….

 

One last thing. Sad about Sydney Pollack. He was one of my favorite directors, and I loved him in Tootsie.

 

 

 


Goo Goo Goo Joob

Walruses are cool.

This is the Walrus.

Walrus


Shower Day 1

Okay, we have begun a remodel of our master bath shower stall.  When we moved in four years ago, we redid all the bathrooms and the kitchen.  The shower tile in the master bath wasCarol Brady shower this Carol-Brady-straight-from-the-seventies olive green, like split-pea-soup green, gross green, had-to-go-immediately green, but the cost of tile at the time, in addition to all the other expenses we were incurring, made my head spin.  We had a budget, a number Manfrengensen had given me to spend, and of course, I was exceeding it by leaps and bounds.

So, when it came to the tile, I skimped.  Instead of replacing the tile, I had it painted with an acrylic enamel, a nice white finish that at first looked nice and clean.  But it didn’t stay that way.  It needed a lot of upkeep if I wanted to keep using gentle cleaners, but I had kids, and I wasn’t always able to clean it frequently enough.  It got stained.  I tried to use cleaners with bleach, and it chipped.  And chipped, until I couldn’t stand that Carol Brady color peeking at me through the floors and walls any longer.

A few weeks ago, I got the tile guy in here. His name is Darius.  He’s from Poland.  Nice guy, though with the language barrier, a little hard to read.  On the phone, there are lots of kind of awkward silences, and he leaves me with the feeling that I’m getting on his nerves.  Like he’s shower with enamelpulling a “Costnanza.” You know that episode of Seinfeld where George tries to make everyone think he’s busy by acting annoyed when interrupted?  That’s Darius on the phone. He’s probably not as aloof as I take him. In fact, the silences are probably just the moments he takes to translate my English into the Polish of his mind. He’s presents as a person of few words, and I do not. In fact, I often go too far in the other direction, especially when there are awkward silences, especially when I am trying to determine whether my point is being taken, and then even when I know it is, I tend to press further.  Something Manfrengen loves to needle me about.  And who can blame him?  Also in person, when Darius and I are discussing something, and he smiles, I don’t get the feeling I’ve amused him as much as he is thinking, Silly American Girl.

But he’s nice, and I trust him.  He works a lot for my dad, who specializes in historic reconstruction.  My house is old, built in the late 19th Century. Before we moved in, it was last renovated in the Seventies, hence the Carol-Brady olive.  The door to the shower is small, with two 8-inch walls on either side of it.  The walls are also decorated with beadboard on the bottom half.

So, after Darius had been here, measured, and given us his quote, which was so reasonable that I questioned why we hadn’t done real tile in the first place, I got it in my mind to mess with the universe.  I got to thinking…what if we opened up the entrance to the shower?  What if we took off those 16-inches of wall on either side, and made that all glass shower door?  Darius was hesitant.  He could do it, he said, but “better if you get carpenter.”  Better? How better? I asked, what did he mean better?  “Just better,” was his cryptic answer.

He got here this morning to tear out the old shower.  Five minutes later, he came downstairs to tell me I needed a carpenter.  The walls have too much carpentry work on them, and he fears collateral damage.  I understand.  It puts my shower project back a week with scheduling the carpenter, and I’m disappointed.  But I understand.

 

A Brush With Celebrity

Manfrengensen and I just got back from four days in Palm Beach, which were fabulous.  The ocean was so clear, I could see my feet.  Saturday the waves were too calm, so calm it was like swimming in a lake, but other than that, everything was fabulous.  We got the sun.  My skin is the color I like it to be, which means that it is browner than my winter look.  My winter skin is something near the color of a newborn rodent.

We also got an upgrade to the concierge level, which was awesome.  All day long they serve treats in the common area.  There are drinks and water and everything.  One day when we were coming from the beach, there was a woman talking to the concierge at his desk. She was small, and even without make-up, or minimal make-up, she was beautiful, glamourous, sparkly. After she got on the elevator, I said to Manfrengensen, “Was that Susan Lucci?”  almostSusan Lucci Red Cross as a joke.  It couldn’t be she, after all.  But the concierge chimed in from across the room (how he had heard me was amazing, like he must have spidey-senses or something), “YES! It was Susan Lucci.  She stays here all the time.”

So, how about that?  Susan Lucci.  And then she was everywhere.  She seemed really nice.  She spoke so sweetly to the concierge, like they were old friends.  I don’t know how old she is, but let me tell you — she looked good for any age.

Funny thing — so, yesterday, I was sitting alone behind the concierge having breakfast.  Manfrengensen was sleeping in the room, and I didn’t want to disturb him.  So, you know how celebrities use pseudonyms at hotels, I guess so their fans or paparazzi won’t disturb them?  Well, Ms. Lucci was speaking to the concierge, and then she got on the elevator and disappeared.  He got on the phone to order her a private cabana for the day.  He said in his French accent, “I know you don’t usually take reservations, but this is for Madame Vuvent.”  (or whatever her alias was, I overheard to some extent, but unlike the concierge, I don’t have the spidey senses)  The person on the other end of the phone must have asked, “Who?”  So he repeated the alias name.  Again, nothing on the other end, so he said, “Susan Lucci!”  Oh, oh, the other person must have said, okay then.

I don’t know, I just thought that was kind of funny.